Emojions: (n) – The emotions evoked by the use of emojis in textual conversation.
I don’t trust people that don’t text with emojis.
Often, I have been put on the Bunsen burner for not replying on time or never even replying at all. As an active participant of the internet age where everything happens at the speed of a broadcast, I can totally see why. But also in hindsight, as a millennial, I am also allowed to take my time and act only when I am comfortable.
When I call you to make plans, I can hear the excitement in your voice. When we meet up, I can see your rosy pink cheeks or bloodshot and baked eyes. Either way, there is an indication of your body language.
So when I text you, sir madam, and there is no emoji, a lot of thoughts come to mind. Are you angry? Are you about to ask for something? Have you eaten? The administration that comes with trying to figure out your stance in an emojiless text is like a president with only grade 3 trying to run a country – Risky, open to extreme trial and error and wide open to the ultimate level misinterpretation.
Call me demanding, but I will not text back sans emoji. It is what it is. Do you really think the wide variety of emojis across social media is just there so Zuckerberg can brag about his updates? That could be a reason. But it is not one that will be recognised for now.
Human beings on earth who do not use emojis are dodgy. I am saying that the trust scale goes from 100 – 0 when you insert no emojis. You are a grown human being – use your emojis.
Now that is has been established that my weak texting is attributed to my lack of trust in you and your sterile texting mechanisms, I just want to ask, do you trust a guy who walks into Yours Truly with a balaclava and starts talking to you? I’m just gonna leave that there. Let you ponder. (‘-‘ )